Well finally my hcg level is below 5 and I no longer have to go back for blood tests. I was relieved to finally be there so my body can start to return to normal, but a sadness came over me when I got the phone call from the doctors office. I feel part of it is based on the sadness that that pregnancy is over sadly and part that my husband is traveling for business again this week. He does not travel a lot but when he does travel it seems to come in at one time. I am thankful and glad that he was home this weekend. We needed that time together.

I once again return to trying to juggle both mom and dad. I try to be everything to my girls. I give a lot of credit to all the single parents out there. I only have to do it a little bit at a time you do it every day with no end in sight. I have been blessed with family and friends who support me and help out. If this was an everyday thing I don't know that I would have all the support I do. For example my friend would not want to send her children over once a week to spend the night and help me out. Also my in laws would not want to take me out to dinner once a week if I was a single parent. I am very thankful for all the help though, especially right now. I just seemed a little sad lately. I know that it is to be understood but it is not who I am as a person so I am still trying to figure it out.

I had a wonderful Mother's day though. It was greatly needed. I have to say there is nothing like have family over to lift ones spirit. It was nice to be surround by those I love and to relax and eat a good meal together. I had most of our family over and it was wonderful and everyone got a long so well. I know it is strange that it happened but it was a great time and great food.

I had a busy weekend but it is not really slowing down anytime soon. We have a year of weddings this year. We will see how I survive all the showers and big events. I should start socking away money for all the babysitting.

I am hoping this week goes by quickly. I can not wait to be on summer vacation. Of course it will be full of lesson plans and trying to get in quality time with my kids.

Welcome to my crazy life!!!!

I wanted to start this blog to write about the issues I and my family face all the time. I know we are not the only ones. I also am using as a place to vent and work through some of the major issues in my life.

I am a mother to a wonderful and amazing set of 5 year old twin girls. I will be married for 10 years in November. My husband is wonderful and amazing. He treats me like a princess and is a huge supporter of me and our family.

I am also a teacher. I have taught for over 5 years now in a variety of settings, thanks to the Michigan economy. I am really hoping to stay put for a while. I hate moving around. I am certified to teach grades 6-12 Social studies and English. I also teach at our Temple's religious school on Sunday mornings. I find it enjoyable and helps keep my spark for teaching.

In what little spare time I have I love to knit, sew, read, watch t.v. and spend time with my family and friends. I have been wonderfully supported by my family and friends and I am extremely grateful for their support, love and understanding.

I would love to have more children but I am at the point in my life where I am not sure that will happen. We have had numerous failed IUI's and IVF's. The last one ended in an etopic pregnancy and my having to have laposcopic surgery to remove my tube and the fetus. This just happened and I am still dealing with and processing this event. My girls are five and I never wanted the age gap between my kids to be this big. I desperately would love to have another child but I am just not sure that will be possible.

I am in a spot in my life where I am wondering where we are going. I am a mother who has always wanted children. I wanted four kids for a very long time. Now I would just like one more healthy child to add to our family. I don't understand sometimes how good people who would be wonderful and caring parents go without being able to conceive and someone who doesn't really want the kid or can't take care of it gets one. I know they help. I have known many single parents who are wonderful and their child helped them become better people. What about those poor abused kids. My heart breaks for them. I wish I could convince my husband to adopt just one child who can not be taken care of by their parent and prevent them from having an unhappy childhood.

I guess I have wondered on for too long. I am hoping to use this blog to post about my life and hopefully inspire other women who deal with some of the same issues I do.